*Make no mistake, I in no way even pretend to know or understand what a veteran goes through. I will see or hear things, that make me lose my breath and my heart literally aches for them. Sometimes people tell me things and I want to write. I started writing this from both, then I tried from hers, and ended up with his point of view, but I cannot even begin to imagine the pain he was in to take his own life and leave behind his wife and boys. I only listened to the things she told me.
Only 19 and married, with a baby on the way, a war erupted and I left you to serve my country. I didn't know I was really going to hell, I didn't know how my life would change in only one day. I stayed to long and I saw more than I can speak. A year was a lifetime, from which I could never forget.
My body survived, but my mind did not. I left myself in Vietnam and came home different than the man that left last May. I no longer enjoyed the life we had started. I now felt alone and afraid. Afraid of the thunder, of loud noises and yelling voices. Afraid of the dark, the nightmares, and the terrors. Afraid of the visions, the blood, and the screams in my head.
You held me, you loved me, and we tried to move on. With 2 boys now, to raise, I tried so hard to be strong. One bad night the boys got real scared. I saw tears in your eyes, and realized I needed to set you all free.
As the sleep washed over me I remembered good things. How on a summer day I would catch a scent of you in the wind and smile. The way I felt when you would rest your head on my shoulder and give a contented sigh. I never wanted to hurt you or cause you this much pain. The demons came to call again last night and I had to silence them, so I could sleep in peace once more.
